Being Intentional

               Your house may be entirely different than ours, but we often find it hard to ‘teach’ the kids to pray.  Sure we pray at meals but when we really pray and have our quiet times our children aren’t always there.  (Hence the point of quiet = no children) They know we do our quiet times in the mornings or after they go to bed but it isn’t the same at teaching them how to do it.  Let’s just go ahead and talk about bedtimes. Sure I would love to tell you that we have this fabulous bedtime routine where we lie on our beds together and read a bible story every night followed by a wonderful time of prayer with each child, but that isn’t reality.  True life is that we are rushing home from a practice, church or ball field and shouting for everyone to get showers as quickly as possible so that we can all jump in bed with a quick kiss so that I can rush to the kitchen and shuffle through backpacks and folders to get ready for the next day.  Whew.  Where are the quiet moments?  Where are the nightly prayers?  With each night eaten up with sports, church, and commitments our nightly routines kept getting later and later until the nighttime routine was maybe one night a week.   (Anyone with me yet or am I the lone ranger here?)

                We have tried putting our prayer lists on the bathroom mirrors so the kids can see as we add and remove the requests.  It was great to see them adding requests as well as knowing that we would be praying for them each morning but it just wasn't personal. 

                This summer we really felt that we had to be intentional about teaching prayer.  If we weren’t intentional about it then it would be passed by and we would unintentionally put something else in its place. 

                Well, our newest prayer focus is for the children that live in the orphanage that we are adopting from in Haiti.  We printed a picture of each child and glued it to a popsicle stick with their name on it and placed it in a can.  Every day we each pick a child to pray for.  It has been wonderful!   I think the pictures have been the connection to really hitting home for them.  They realize that it is their responsibility to pray for that child.  They took ownership of it!  Their prayers have been very sweet and it has been amazing.  SO amazing that my children had a lesson for me the other night….

                If you have talked with us recently you know that Todd has been working long hours and this particular night he was home and we were having a family dinner at a normal time.  I had cooked and we were all sitting down to dinner.  All the women will understand this completely because after you have shopped, prepared, plated, served and everyone is now seated you just want to have everyone eat and enjoy this meal that you have made just for them right?  Well, I (in the ‘all about me’ haste) announce that daddy will pray a prayer for all of our kiddos tonight in one big prayer for everything so we can get right on into eating.  I mean, seriously, we have prayed for them at breakfast and at lunch and God would completely understand a blanket prayer from daddy covering these children.  It’s all good right?  As we bow our heads this little voice speaks up and says “But, I want to pray for my own child….daddy doesn’t know what I want to pray for.”  And another little voice says:  “Me too…I want to say my own prayer”.  It took a millisecond for my heart to be checked and for me to see my gross sin and my Savior in my children.  They got it!  They got Him!  I can’t tell you exactly what they prayed for because I cried through it.  Our amazing Savior can hear the prayers of 5 and 8 year olds while their mama is praying for forgiveness and still listening to everyone else around the world!  What an awesome God we serve!

                Our slightly cold meal tasted even better as it was covered with amazing prayers for precious children.  Some day we will be in Haiti and I don’t know if we will ever meet these children.  They may still be at the orphanage or (I pray) they are home with their forever families.  No matter where they are I know they are prayed for each day.

                Here’s a picture of our prayer can in case you want to be intentional with your kiddos. 

Meeting Update

                          Thank you for all of your prayers!  We (finally) received word on Sunday afternoon about the meeting from Friday morning.  Time (and life) in Haiti does not work like we in first world countries want or often expect it to.  They can’t blog or facebook like we want them to.  They must drive through rough roads for hours to get to the meeting, have the meeting all day, travel those same roads home again and that is not the end of their day.  You know how it is when you have been gone….there’s paperwork to catch up on, people that have been waiting to ask you questions, problems that have come up that need your attention, and the list goes on.  Notice anything missing?  Ahhh yes….the little arms that come running when you come home that want hugs that only you can fill!  That is just a tidbit of the life of our director. SO many people hinge on her words but she is mama to many children, a leader to a large staff, a fighter for the plight of the orphan and the contact person for the adoptive families across the world adopting from that orphanage as well.  While the staff and kids in her care look up to her daily there are people all over the world just watching computers for her words to appear with tidbits of information and pictures of their kids and the process.  It’s amazing really.  I’ll tell you about her full story soon.  God has used her greatly and is continuing to do so each day but back to the present meeting.

                The blog came across on Sunday with detailed yet confusing information.  As with everything we must remain positive, look for God’s hand pray through the rest!  The best news is that the referral process (matching families with children) is beginning again….Praise the Lord!  Any time that children can be matched with their forever families and begin that process of coming home is a huge praise!!  We need to continue to pray for the process.  It is easy for those in government or those not involved to make requirements without realizing the implications of their decisions.  As of now, the birth parents must come to the capital city for 3 different interviews with the courts AFTER they have signed over their parental rights.  One must understand poverty to understand how this affects them….a trip to the city may mean they will not have food for the month, if the father must miss work to travel he could lose the only job he has.  If they do not come, the child cannot be adopted.  Then they must begin paperwork for the child to be abandoned and try to track down the parents.  That means more paperwork and a lengthy time to ‘wait’ before the child becomes available for adoption.  This means the child could live in an orphanage for many years before they could become adopted. If the parent comes at any point to the orphanage to check on them, or contacts at any point in this process, it all starts over and the clock begins again.  This applies if it is a grandmother, uncle or anyone that dropped the child off at an orphanage. 

                The second requirement that may be changing is that the adoptive family may need to make an additional trip to Haiti making a total of 3 trips before the adoption can be finalized.  For some families this is not a problem but for many this will be.  This could also keep many families from choosing to adopt from Haiti when looking at costs and travel plans.  Not only does it affect jobs and biological children but think about the children in Haiti that must meet, love and bond with their parents 2 times and then be ripped apart and watch them leave.  It’s heartbreaking!  Bonding and building trust could be increasingly difficult after breaking that 2 times before. 

                Let me take a moment to say something about my heart and our adoption (I know this is long and I apologize).  Every psychologist and counselor tells me that having a background on our child will help them greatly in their future but I have a secret fear.  I am fearful that I will be in Haiti to adopt our child and in will walk the mother or father of our child….and I will break.  (Stay with me now).  You see my heart is to help a child who does not have a parent to love on them.  I never want to take a child from a mother or father.  If the parents cannot afford to raise them I would rather spend my life helping the parents and keep the family together (family preservation programs) than see a family ripped apart!!  BUT, if a parent, grandparent, uncle or whatever family member does make that unbelievable selfless decision that they cannot possibly care for this precious child and they want them to have a better life then it should be a simpler process.  I believe we should honor that decision.  That grandmother who may have watched her daughter die in childbirth and carried her grandson to an orphanage should not have to travel three times to the capital to complete 3 interviews after signing over the rights as the only known relative.  Can you imagine making that incredibly hard decision to give up your child only to find out it took them 4 years to actually be adopted into a family? Or sometimes even longer if the interviews or paperwork is a problem?  I would be SO upset to miss time with my child AND know they missed a family as well.  Or if someone is left with children to care for some relatives may find it easier to turn the children over as child slaves (restavac’s) instead of turning them over to orphanges for adoption.  In a country that poverty is so high and people are willing to almost sell their children for a better life we need to be very careful to protect the children against child trafficking.  Yet, we cannot hurt the adoption process in the meantime and keep our orphanages full of children that need to come home.  It is a delicate balance.  I am just a mother stuck in this process with a little one stuck in it too.  Only prayer will break through these walls. 

                Satan is trying to get to God’s children.  Let’s not let him.  Matthew 25:40:  “The King will reply ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’” 

Prayers Please

                Are there any prayer warriors out there?  Great….because we need ‘ya!  This Friday, July 5^th, at 10:00 there will be a very important meeting in Haiti that will have a large impact on our referral (matching of us with our child).  If anyone has a few moments between now and then and would like to lift up those involved we would be grateful!  We want God’s hands and plans to be all over this process and would like it to be covered in prayer!

                For those that love the details (like me):  Yes, we entered IBESR but they are not matching families with children right now.  In fact, they have not matched anyone in 2013.  They have not put any procedures in place and no one knows when that will happen.  Rumor has it that they are waiting on the new laws to pass before they begin matching.  (Since it has been over a year and the law has not passed everyone is concerned as to when it will happen.)  Many adoption agencies, orphanage directors and lawyers are meeting with the IBESR administrators on Friday at 10:00AM to come to an agreement on how to proceed with the referrals.  If they come to an agreement (which we are praying they will…AMEN!!) then referrals could start right away! 

                And a referral means we could possibly learn who God has ordained for our family.  And that would mean we could start praying specifically.  And that would mean a trip to meet them……Oh I must stop.   My heart cannot handle the anticipation. 

                Would you join us in praying for these next few days?  This is not just for us.  These people are meeting in rooms and discussing procedures but may they never forget that they are discussing children.  May all of their decisions be made in the best interest of the children and not for policies or procedures.  Praying God will be in control of everything.

Colossians 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.

                This is one of my favorites from the devotional Jesus Calling.  “Trust Me by relinquishing control into My hands.  Let go, and recognize that I am God…..When you bring Me prayer requests, lay out your concerns before Me.  Speak to Me candidly; pour out your heart.  Then thank Me for the answers that I have set into motion long before you can discern results. 

Lord….we are praying and thanking you already for all that you are doing!  AMEN!