Birthday

Birthday breakfast

Birthday lunch

His look when he walked in to see.......

......this!!  Happy birthday Toby!

Enjoyed pizza for the first time!

And of course....all kids like the tape and boxes as much as the presents.  Lol. 

More Fun....

Yesterday we decided to take Toby for his first trip to Chick-fil-A.  He loved it (of course!).  He was freezing though and wore his hoodie the whole time.

Today, Toby helped me make his birthday cake.  Yes, today is his 4th Birthday!!!!  We did a few things today but celebrating tomorrow. He enjoyed making the cake and loved watching it 'grow' in the oven.

Examples of true life....the laundry baskets and toys all over the floor.  : )

A day in the life....

Once again, I find myself quite busy and not able to post as often as I would like.  I will leave you with some tidbits into our life.  Recently, I have commented that Toby is my little mystery man.  He is a mystery still to us in many ways and the world is a mystery to him. We are navigating this journey together.  Lots of joyous moments with some trauma and grief in the mix.

Yes, Toby has transitioned very fast from Oberson to Toby.  He responds and refers to himself as Toby.  I do find that when I really need his attention I call out Oberson.  He always responds but always refers to himself asa Toby.

Like every family that has a new child there are adjustments and joyous times.  I don't have a camera around during the 'adjustments' but want to make sure you understand life isnt always pretty.  We have tears and hurt feeling sometimes but mostly we are enjoying playing and getting to know each other.


During Travis's soccer game.

During Ashley's soccer game.

We did not go into this blindly but there are two areas where we are working through as a family.  First, I never realized how big of a deal 'ownership' would be for Toby.  Never having things of his own, he is constantly questioning who everything belongs to.  "For me?" is a very common question followed by the names of every other family member.  That some things belong to mulitple people seems crazy (such as our table or chairs).  Switching barstools is a crazy concept to a child used to everything being a routine.  Makes total sense but hard to watch him as he learns to process it all.

We expected there to be food issues but not like we are experiencing. I expected him to have distinct likes and dislikes as well as being uncomfortable with various textures.  He has totally surprised us by being open to all kinds of foods with very little being refused.  What he has trouble with is seeing food being preparend and eating until gone.  Life in his orpahange means when you sit down the food is either there or brought in right away.  He has never been in a kitchen to prepare food.  The wait is very hard to understand.  Equally difficult is only eating a little bit. For instance...if he sees me get a bag of pretzels or grapes for a snack then he expects us to finish that bag.  Eating only a little bit is hard to understand.  Now, let's be real....I can hear you now....just get a little out and don't let him see the whole bag...duh?  Yep.  That's great advice! I assume you have never had a child who follows you around or watches every move...out of the fact that they are a nosy toddler or maybe one still unsure of everything?  What sounds so easy is not always the case.  I will say we have been blessed with meals being delivered from our Sunday School class.  It has been a big blessing! Especially with 'preparation' issues.

All this to say.....Toby is a trooper!  He is the bravest little guy I know and has thrown himself into every opportunity.

What is to come......for Toby that is a birthday!  Yes, Toby will be 4 years old this Friday, October 21st!  Party!

Week 1

This past week has been tremendous.  Since I have been remiss in posting, I'll recap the past week and answer some of the questions you are asking (since I haven't really spoken with anyone).

Yesterday marked one week from Todd and I being reunited with Toby. 

One week ago today we began to see the strength of this little guy.  The orphanage has a goodbye ceremony for every child.  The children sit on the floor with all nannies sitting on the sides and staff surrounding everyone.  We sat in the front with Toby.  (I do not like to be in the front so this was uncomfortable for me and they weren't even saying goodbye to me!).  Toby sat on Todd's lap while they sang songs full of energetic claps and motions.  There were musical instruments played by kids and nannies and everyone was involved.  After the singing, Toby stands by himself and every single child comes up to him, gives him a hug and says goodbye.  It was beautiful (through my tears of course).  It was then that I could basically see him square his shoulders, put on a straight face and do what he needed to do (showing no emotion).  After the children, he hugged every nanny and then staff.  I thought we should linger and share a little but to him it was done and he started walking to the car. Done.  Chapter closed.  Ready to begin a new chapter.  

He is so brave!!!

That little squared shoulders, big eyes, straight-no-emotion face would be seen a good bit in the next few days as we traveled airports, security, immigration and customs.  The airplane ride was a huge hit and he spent a good bit of time exploring inside (seats, tables, restroom) and looking outside.  In between his nap on daddy and fun with the ice cubes in his cup. 

Our arrival home was amazing.  We had no idea that so many people had gathered at the airport to welcome us home.  We were stuck in immigration for awhile but everyone was patient to wait.  Oberson came out a new citizen and into a room filled with his prayer warriors!  He greeted Ashley and Travis and was a trooper as we made our way through the crowd. The balloons were a huge hit as well as a stuffed animal elephant that he still clings to daily.  Our dear friend Heather photographed our homecoming.  I will cherish the pictures forever! 

One of our greatest prayers for him was that he would have a willing and open spirit about what was coming in his journey.  When facing changes we all react with either anticipation or fear.  It is the fear that keeps us from experiencing or enjoying things. Don't get me wrong....Toby has fears.  Great ones.  But, he does not let them keep him from experiencing.  He is way too inquisitive for that.  

When you see him, you may see that very serious face.  That's ok.  That is him when overwhelmed.  That is him when he is checking things out or facing new situations.  He is so brave!!!

Some of the most asked questions:

How is his English? AMAZING!  We knew he had been in an English class for a while now.  His teacher said he understands it well but had not spoken English back to her.  It was a mystery as to how much he knew/could say.  Well, he started pretty quickly and now speaks to us mainly in English.  When he gets excited he talks fast in Creole.  What he does say in Creole I cannot understand and I have yet to find in any translator.  I have no idea!  Haha.  Between our Creole and his English though we can speak really well.  We have not really had a time that we could not understand something important.  He is SO inquisitive. He wants to learn and is constantly wanting to know the names on things in English. He will often point and say the creole, I will say the English word, he repeats it and from there on we use English. Good thing as I can't remember anything in Creole like he can remember in English!!  

How is he with Zoey our dog?  At first he was a mixture of curious and apprehensive.  He wanted to touch her but he wanted her to sit still so he could.  She was so excited to meet him her wiggles kept her always moving.  He would sneak pets and touches here and there but ran when her attention turned to him.  Four days later, he wont leave her alone.  He hugs her, wants to pet her non stop and throws more balls for her than anyone.  I would prefer some of those balls be outside and not across my living room but hey...its all good right?)

How is he eating? This sweet boy is all about trying new things. Some things that I know he has eaten every day he will not touch now (like peanut butter sandwich) while others remain favorites (Haitian spaghetti).  He eats grape tomatoes like grapes and likes cucumbers and carrots with dip.  Fruits are a big hit as well as cheese and yogurt.  Each meal has some favorites and new things (trying not to change his whole diet at once).  We all laughed the first time with popsicles.  Cold items seem to be a new concept.  Last night it was ice cream.  Lots of smiles and giggles!!!

How is he sleeping? Unbelievably!!!  He is a good sleeper and has slept through the night since he came home!  I was totally not expecting that at all!  I think it helps that Travis and Toby share a room and can see each other from their beds.  Both boys are early risers so that is good! 

How is it going with the three kids?  From the very beginning, they got along well but it was a little awkward not knowing what to do together. Each day is getting better.  Last night we made all three of them mad when we stopped play time for baths and bed.  Ashley is a great big sister, always looking out for him, helping and reading to him.  Travis is learning his role as big brother quickly. He is so excited to have a playmate! They play cars (machines), trains and love the swings.

What does he like to do? Even for his young age, he is used to a long day at school.  Keeping a routine is important at an orphanage.  I have tried to keep our day a good mix of new and familiar things.  We rotate often through various activities such as toys (blocks, cars, animals), books, fine motor skill activities, table activities (coloring and things that feel like 'school' to him), music (he loves the piano), puzzles and of course lots of outdoor stuff.  He loves walks and can spend all day on the swings.  Our dog loves to play fetch and he loves to throw so it is a good combination.  Haha.  He loved the scooter and is really fast.  One night we got the tball set out and he spent forever hitting balls.  He loved it. Yesterday we all played soccer.  Last night we got out the bikes.  It is so hard for me to watch him do these activities!  I have no idea what he can/cannot do but I don't want to squash his enthusiasm with my worry.  He climbed on that bicycle (with helmet on of course) and took off.  

What is one of the funniest things or most surprising? He is totally intrigued with 'things'.  Big things.  Unusual things.  Like the vacuum!  He laughed so hard when he saw things disappear and loved playing with it.  Opening the dryer door to see it spinning and feel the warmth brings tons of giggles.  Oh and the washer....dirty in and clean out....too fun!  That rushing water had him spraying everywhere and giggling.  Of course he tries to lay on the dishwasher door every time it is open (Yikes!!) so I pray it doesn't break.  Also, his first bath (with bubbles) was awesome. Yes, we had water everywhere (seriously) but the giggles were definately worth it!!

As you can see...we are enjoying our time together! This is not to say that things are perfect.  As much as I want to share the joys I must be honest.  As much as we are thankful for the good, we must appreciate the difficult also.  See....it is difficult.  Toby is grieving.  He needs to grieve because he has lost a lot!  We need to be loving to what is lost, help him grieve and yet enjoy this moment and what is to come.  It is a balance.  Institutional living brings different challenges that when moving into a family means huge transitions.  It will come.  Trust will come.  It takes time.  

Home...

There will be lots of stories to come in time but for now just one.

We have prayed for the hearts of our children and specifically for God to bind them together even when apart. The last 24 hours has been one blessing from God after another and so many answered prayers.  

Within no time the boys were wearing capes and watching them fly in the breeze as they ran around the house, chasing each other down the slide, throwing balls for the dog and playing toys together.  Ashley read books to everyone for bedtime cuddles.  Travis was thrilled to have Toby in the other bed finally.  Everyone slept thru the night and woke early and ready for fun.  We are enjoying watching his personality open, his language develop already, his curiosity with everything and his enjoyment in new things.  ❤️❤️❤️❤️