Paper Chase

     Just like in life, the adoption journey (even the beginning stages that we are in) has ups and downs, highs and lows, good and bad, and everything in between.  Right now our journey can be summed up as a paper chase.  Every moment not consumed with being a wife, mother or teacher is spent tracking down documents or visiting people to gather forms, signatures or documents.  I have learned the meaning of words like home study, dossier, authentication, notary, and Apostille of which I never knew before.  I am learning how to contact state offices to gather official documents and how to cross state lines to get what we need.  As the papers come in, I start checking them off my list and add them to the ever growing pile to translate.  With each check my heart rate goes up and I almost get giddy with excitement.  Yet, often with each step forward there is another step backward that requires more work.

     The roller coaster of emotions was tearing me up as I rode that coaster from excitement of completing a task to getting frustrating as I needed to do things again or for more additions to the list.  I kept waiting for the ride to end but it hasn’t yet as we haven’t finished this phase.  But in my quiet time, God began working on me and speaking to me through all of this.  HE reminded me that it takes all of these stops and starts and hills and valleys to reach our child.  Yes, we are on a journey but it is a journey that He has prepared for us.  So, each piece of paper that I gather is one piece closer to our child coming home.  Each phone call is one call closer to our little one being in our arms.   I need to trust Him in these steps …..yes steps…..not step-backs……and trust that they are planned in advance to guide us to our child. 

     The verse He gave me from the very beginning was Romans 8:25 “We hope for what we do not have, we wait for it patiently”.  May I continue to wait patiently…..it is so very hard.