"The Call"

                It happened….almost two weeks ago we received “the call” that changed our lives!  It started as a normal Tuesday morning with Todd in California and me sitting down to complete some adoption grant  paperwork after dropping the kids off at school.  I wondered who was calling so early in the morning and when I saw it was our agency I just knew.  As soon as I answered they asked if I was driving and told me to sit down…..I started crying.  (I didn’t stop for a week!)  It was then that I learned of our third child.  I heard a name, a gender and an age…..and love began!  It was instantly clear that God’s hand was already upon it all….it was my day off; Todd was still in his hotel so we could talk, cry and pray together for a long time; and His Hand has been upon everything since! 

                Our youngest is ….a little boy!  He just turned 14 months old on December 21^st!  He has the smoothest sweet skin and the darkest eyes that have a definite sparkle to them!  He has those sweet baby cheeks that you just can’t wait to kiss.  Oh my goodness I could just go on and on! 

                We have said we were open to a boy or a girl up to the age of 5 so we feel that God has hand-picked this little guy to be in our family and we are thrilled beyond measure.  If you see us we will be glad to show you a picture if you ask (and maybe even if you don’t) but we will keep that to private times for now. 

                For those of you following our journey here’s what happened:  you know that we have waited for this new law to be passed this entire year so that matching of families and children could begin.  We are the first family to receive a referral with our agency.  When we received the call we learned of his name and approximate age only.  I had found a picture of him on the orphanage website and in our newsletter (we are pretty familiar with the children at the orphanage after praying for them all this time) but it took almost 24 hours to get a picture of him from our agency.  We received the actual referral with personality and medical information 6 days later (everything was in Creole/French and had to be translated).   We had 15 days from the date we received the referral to give our decision in writing (official and notarized letter) which we did….of course!!  Unfortunately, our acceptance letter was rejected because it was written in English and not Creole.  No one (not even our agency) knew it needed to be written in Creole.  We had it translated, re-signed by all parties and resent as soon as possible.  Yesterday (New Year’s Eve) we received confirmation that they received and accepted our referral acceptance letter.  Those are fancy words for:  we are officially matched and he is soon to be ours!!! 

                What happens next?  Well, we expect we will travel to meet him sometime in January.  Can you believe it?? I am beside myself.  Will he be quiet, outgoing, shy, playful, mischevious, giggly, ticklish, snuggly, timid, sweet?  All those things we will find out in time!  Ok, back to the basics….we must be evaluated by the social worker to see how he bonds with us and vice versa.  We must stay for two weeks while they evaluate us (and no our children are not allowed to travel with us).  Assuming they approve us and our bonding, we return home and our paperwork then all goes to Court where he will become a SHEARER!!!  The court process can take anywhere from 3 weeks to 3 months.  After court, they will print passports and visas which can take anywhere from 3 weeks to 3 months.  Then we will return to Haiti and bring him home!!!! 

                In October I was dreaming of who our child would be and thinking it was going to be another 1-1.5 years before they would be home. Now we know who he is and we are looking at probably 6-9 months to have him home!  I am beside myself with excitement!!  The planning, dreaming and everything that is going on in my mind is unexplainable.  What IS explainable is how God has had His hand in everything! 

                Psalm 68:6 God sets the lonely in families.

Best Christmas Present Ever

           If you know us well, then you know that the past few months have been kind of a challenge in some ways as we have had some adjustments to get used to in our lives.  After many years of Todd’s work schedule keeping him close to home, he now is traveling a lot and it is a major adjustment for our family.  Add to that the wait of an adoption and it can get crazy.  This past week seemed to be an especially crazy week.  Todd was once again traveling (this time to California) and was gone from Sunday morning to Saturday night.  Ashley was in the Living Christmas Tree performance at our church which is a wonderful ministry but a demanding schedule.  It meant long nights and boring nights for her brother who always seemed lost in the shuffle. (Thanks to good friends who carpooled most of the week to allow me to stay home with him.)

           Sunday came and we went to see both performances.  We went as a family to see one performance and the other so we could watch Ashley with friends and family.  It was amazing.  I laughed and cried through the whole thing.  I have been so proud that Ashley has felt so convicted to be a part of this ministry and has shown such dedication each day!  Even though she was tired she was determined to stick out the week! 

           She saw the fruits of her labor on Sunday…..when Travis asked Jesus into his heart at the 3:00 performance!  When Pastor Rhys said for those that said the prayer of salvation to raise their hands and I saw those big brown eyes look at me from Todd’s lap I just knew!  He was nervous but he had done it!  He raised his little arm as my tears started to flow!  He has talked about asking Jesus into his heart for awhile but we didn’t want to push and I guess Sunday was the perfect day! 

           For those that are so full of adult-wisdom in thinking that a 6 year old is too young to make a decision for Christ…..let’s leave that judgment up to God.  Because to tell him it wasn’t real is like telling him the sky isn’t blue.  He knows what he did and knows why he wanted to do it.  I believe we all need to have faith like a child and love like a child….with abandon!  May I always love that way! 

            So, this Christmas we will rejoice over our second child now being born into God’s family!  Praise the Lord!

           Thank you to all that served in the Living Christmas Tree! It certainly had an impact in our life.  

Family Update

          Where has the time gone?  I have all these stories I have wanted to blog about but days turn into weeks and they are still in my mind and not on the computer.  SO much has happened in our family since I last blogged. 

          The trip to Haiti that Todd and I took in October was wonderful and full of blessings.  It is amazing how we thought we were going to bless others and we were the ones blessed in the end  (more on that trip to come).

          November brought some high points and low points for our family.  Ever since sin entered the world it has brought with it poverty, heartache, illnesses and a host of other problems.  Sometimes it is just the reality that life ends too quickly and unexpectedly.  A dear friend has walked this road recently and it has been hard.  Yet, the joy of the Lord always prevails!  He carries us when we cannot walk ourselves!  His loves never fail!  We have experienced this anew and seen how He can carry us through a hard time.  God is So good.  November also brought illness to our home and with two sick children that can mean tired mamas, yucky everything and not so fun anything!  But it also brought a fun trip to Ohio to visit family and great memories to last a lifetime.  God sent snow to Ohio while we were there (almost 8 inches in one night even) and the children were thrilled!!  Who’s kidding…..we were all thrilled!  We spent one entire day sledding, making snowmen, having snowball fights, and sledding, sledding, sledding. We only came in long enough to warm our fingers and toes and we would go back out again.  Most of you know that Todd and I grew up in Ohio so snow and sledding are not new to us.  BUT, I did experience something new with sledding this time……it was my first time ever sledding with cows!  Yes, we were sledding on the pasture hill at Todd’s uncle’s farm and the cows were incredibly curious as to what we were doing.  In the morning they stayed at a good distance and just watched us.  But by the afternoon, we were zooming within a few feet of their legs.  They crossed the hillside numerous times and just watched us like we were crazy.  They came and sniffed our vehicles and walked all around.  It was hysterical. Todd’s uncle let us borrow a tractor so the kids had a ‘taxi’ to bring them back up the hill at the end of each sled-ride.  It was awesome.  Sled-ride down (miss the cows), call for a taxi, get a ride up, and repeat.  Families are amazing….we had grandparents on the hillside with us, uncles that came and pushed for hours, aunts that came to watch, cousins that came and played for hours and brought an inner tube (so cool!) and more aunts and uncles that let us use their farm (and giggled at us for hours from their front window I believe).   J 

           We are now home and continuing our thankful spirit as we begin to celebrate Christmas.  We have slowly started decorating and we are enjoying doing a little bit each day and spending time together.  

These past two months have been pretty hard (especially for me) on the adoption front.  Our trip to Haiti was amazing but I think it just put even more of a yearning in my heart for our child.  When the law passed I had such high hopes that things would move quickly and now 3 months later when nothing has happened it begins to wear me down some days. I know that God’s plan and timing is perfect and we would rather wait for His timing than demand our way, but it is hard.  A close friend must have been able to see it in my demeanor and had a pick-me-up this week by throwing us an adoption fundraiser.  It was a nice night to get together with close friends and visit and share.  This road often feels isolating but I am realizing we are not alone. There are many people with us they just may not know what to do or say.  Those of you reading this are those people, and we are grateful for you! These days when I am sad and even when I cannot put my feelings into words….thank you for understanding.  When we yearn for someone we do not yet know and you do not understand yet you listen…..Thank you.  For in my heart I know they are out there.  I know someone else is caring for them, putting them to bed, playing, rocking and celebrating Christmas with them.  I pray someone else is doing those things. 

           Thank you for loving us through this!  We couldn’t do it without your support!  Sometimes we wonder how much our children ‘get’ what is going on with the adoption since it is so hard for them to fully understand.  Well, on Thursday Ashley went to get the mail and started screaming at the mailbox and came running through the yard.  I went running in my slippers thinking something tragic happened.  She was jumping and thrust an envelope in my hand yelling “Open It!”  As I glanced at the envelope it all became clear and I started crying.  It was the quarterly newsletter from the orphanage we are adopting through.  She thought they were mailing our referral to us.  She (being 9) never knew it came via a phone call.  She went from a mountain to a valley in about 2 seconds.  Oh…. this journey is not for the faint of heart……for any members of a family.  SO thankful we have a loving God to carry us, love us and who will fulfill this journey with us!

           Many blessings to you all!

Nothing like sledding with the cows!

They thought we were crazy!

Get ready for some news.....

                I can’t believe it has been over 2 months since I have posted an update.  Where has the time gone?  Oh yeah….we’ve been waiting!  The days of no news blend together and begin to wear one out.  But for once we have some news….both personally and on the adoption front. 

                In adoption news, the long awaited law was finally voted upon (and passed) a month ago.  It was expected to go into effect October 1^st but that has not happened as of yet.  The law must now be signed by the president and then published in order to be official.  Those steps have not happened yet.  We hope they take place soon.  When they do, IBESR can begin matching families with children again!!  (that would be us…whahoo!)  At this point, we are waiting for that phone call to let us know who our child is and when we can go meet him/her.  That call could come tomorrow or 6 months from now.  We just don’t know.  So, if you see me with my phone and checking it every few minutes to make sure it is on, I am not crazy.  Maybe I am.  I’m a crazy mom waiting anxiously for that phone call that will change our lives! 

                Before we began this adoption journey Todd and I fell in love with the children at MEF (Maison d’Enfant par la Foi which mean House of Children of the Faith) which is an orphanage in Haiti that our church supports.  We have loved and prayed for those children for years.  Todd visited them in 2009 (right before the earthquake) and I went in 2010 and 2011.  With saving money for the adoption and our schedules we have not been able to return since.  That is changing this month! Todd and I will be returning in October for a short mission trip to see the children!  My heart is full just with the anticipation of seeing them again.    

                How can you pray for us?  Pray for all of us as we travel to Haiti.  It will be our first international trip (and only second major trip) away from the kids.  Pray for our team as we prepare for all that God is calling us to do in a short amount of time.  Pray for our hearts while we are there….we will be one hour away from our 3^rd child yet we do not know who they are yet.  We had planned to go early and serve at their orphanage for a few days but we were declined as it appears like we are going to ‘pick’ our child.  Understandable, but hard to be so close yet so far away at the same time. 

                The wait always seems to come right before great blessings.  Praying that call with our blessing comes soon…..

Being Intentional

               Your house may be entirely different than ours, but we often find it hard to ‘teach’ the kids to pray.  Sure we pray at meals but when we really pray and have our quiet times our children aren’t always there.  (Hence the point of quiet = no children) They know we do our quiet times in the mornings or after they go to bed but it isn’t the same at teaching them how to do it.  Let’s just go ahead and talk about bedtimes. Sure I would love to tell you that we have this fabulous bedtime routine where we lie on our beds together and read a bible story every night followed by a wonderful time of prayer with each child, but that isn’t reality.  True life is that we are rushing home from a practice, church or ball field and shouting for everyone to get showers as quickly as possible so that we can all jump in bed with a quick kiss so that I can rush to the kitchen and shuffle through backpacks and folders to get ready for the next day.  Whew.  Where are the quiet moments?  Where are the nightly prayers?  With each night eaten up with sports, church, and commitments our nightly routines kept getting later and later until the nighttime routine was maybe one night a week.   (Anyone with me yet or am I the lone ranger here?)

                We have tried putting our prayer lists on the bathroom mirrors so the kids can see as we add and remove the requests.  It was great to see them adding requests as well as knowing that we would be praying for them each morning but it just wasn't personal. 

                This summer we really felt that we had to be intentional about teaching prayer.  If we weren’t intentional about it then it would be passed by and we would unintentionally put something else in its place. 

                Well, our newest prayer focus is for the children that live in the orphanage that we are adopting from in Haiti.  We printed a picture of each child and glued it to a popsicle stick with their name on it and placed it in a can.  Every day we each pick a child to pray for.  It has been wonderful!   I think the pictures have been the connection to really hitting home for them.  They realize that it is their responsibility to pray for that child.  They took ownership of it!  Their prayers have been very sweet and it has been amazing.  SO amazing that my children had a lesson for me the other night….

                If you have talked with us recently you know that Todd has been working long hours and this particular night he was home and we were having a family dinner at a normal time.  I had cooked and we were all sitting down to dinner.  All the women will understand this completely because after you have shopped, prepared, plated, served and everyone is now seated you just want to have everyone eat and enjoy this meal that you have made just for them right?  Well, I (in the ‘all about me’ haste) announce that daddy will pray a prayer for all of our kiddos tonight in one big prayer for everything so we can get right on into eating.  I mean, seriously, we have prayed for them at breakfast and at lunch and God would completely understand a blanket prayer from daddy covering these children.  It’s all good right?  As we bow our heads this little voice speaks up and says “But, I want to pray for my own child….daddy doesn’t know what I want to pray for.”  And another little voice says:  “Me too…I want to say my own prayer”.  It took a millisecond for my heart to be checked and for me to see my gross sin and my Savior in my children.  They got it!  They got Him!  I can’t tell you exactly what they prayed for because I cried through it.  Our amazing Savior can hear the prayers of 5 and 8 year olds while their mama is praying for forgiveness and still listening to everyone else around the world!  What an awesome God we serve!

                Our slightly cold meal tasted even better as it was covered with amazing prayers for precious children.  Some day we will be in Haiti and I don’t know if we will ever meet these children.  They may still be at the orphanage or (I pray) they are home with their forever families.  No matter where they are I know they are prayed for each day.

                Here’s a picture of our prayer can in case you want to be intentional with your kiddos. 

Meeting Update

                          Thank you for all of your prayers!  We (finally) received word on Sunday afternoon about the meeting from Friday morning.  Time (and life) in Haiti does not work like we in first world countries want or often expect it to.  They can’t blog or facebook like we want them to.  They must drive through rough roads for hours to get to the meeting, have the meeting all day, travel those same roads home again and that is not the end of their day.  You know how it is when you have been gone….there’s paperwork to catch up on, people that have been waiting to ask you questions, problems that have come up that need your attention, and the list goes on.  Notice anything missing?  Ahhh yes….the little arms that come running when you come home that want hugs that only you can fill!  That is just a tidbit of the life of our director. SO many people hinge on her words but she is mama to many children, a leader to a large staff, a fighter for the plight of the orphan and the contact person for the adoptive families across the world adopting from that orphanage as well.  While the staff and kids in her care look up to her daily there are people all over the world just watching computers for her words to appear with tidbits of information and pictures of their kids and the process.  It’s amazing really.  I’ll tell you about her full story soon.  God has used her greatly and is continuing to do so each day but back to the present meeting.

                The blog came across on Sunday with detailed yet confusing information.  As with everything we must remain positive, look for God’s hand pray through the rest!  The best news is that the referral process (matching families with children) is beginning again….Praise the Lord!  Any time that children can be matched with their forever families and begin that process of coming home is a huge praise!!  We need to continue to pray for the process.  It is easy for those in government or those not involved to make requirements without realizing the implications of their decisions.  As of now, the birth parents must come to the capital city for 3 different interviews with the courts AFTER they have signed over their parental rights.  One must understand poverty to understand how this affects them….a trip to the city may mean they will not have food for the month, if the father must miss work to travel he could lose the only job he has.  If they do not come, the child cannot be adopted.  Then they must begin paperwork for the child to be abandoned and try to track down the parents.  That means more paperwork and a lengthy time to ‘wait’ before the child becomes available for adoption.  This means the child could live in an orphanage for many years before they could become adopted. If the parent comes at any point to the orphanage to check on them, or contacts at any point in this process, it all starts over and the clock begins again.  This applies if it is a grandmother, uncle or anyone that dropped the child off at an orphanage. 

                The second requirement that may be changing is that the adoptive family may need to make an additional trip to Haiti making a total of 3 trips before the adoption can be finalized.  For some families this is not a problem but for many this will be.  This could also keep many families from choosing to adopt from Haiti when looking at costs and travel plans.  Not only does it affect jobs and biological children but think about the children in Haiti that must meet, love and bond with their parents 2 times and then be ripped apart and watch them leave.  It’s heartbreaking!  Bonding and building trust could be increasingly difficult after breaking that 2 times before. 

                Let me take a moment to say something about my heart and our adoption (I know this is long and I apologize).  Every psychologist and counselor tells me that having a background on our child will help them greatly in their future but I have a secret fear.  I am fearful that I will be in Haiti to adopt our child and in will walk the mother or father of our child….and I will break.  (Stay with me now).  You see my heart is to help a child who does not have a parent to love on them.  I never want to take a child from a mother or father.  If the parents cannot afford to raise them I would rather spend my life helping the parents and keep the family together (family preservation programs) than see a family ripped apart!!  BUT, if a parent, grandparent, uncle or whatever family member does make that unbelievable selfless decision that they cannot possibly care for this precious child and they want them to have a better life then it should be a simpler process.  I believe we should honor that decision.  That grandmother who may have watched her daughter die in childbirth and carried her grandson to an orphanage should not have to travel three times to the capital to complete 3 interviews after signing over the rights as the only known relative.  Can you imagine making that incredibly hard decision to give up your child only to find out it took them 4 years to actually be adopted into a family? Or sometimes even longer if the interviews or paperwork is a problem?  I would be SO upset to miss time with my child AND know they missed a family as well.  Or if someone is left with children to care for some relatives may find it easier to turn the children over as child slaves (restavac’s) instead of turning them over to orphanges for adoption.  In a country that poverty is so high and people are willing to almost sell their children for a better life we need to be very careful to protect the children against child trafficking.  Yet, we cannot hurt the adoption process in the meantime and keep our orphanages full of children that need to come home.  It is a delicate balance.  I am just a mother stuck in this process with a little one stuck in it too.  Only prayer will break through these walls. 

                Satan is trying to get to God’s children.  Let’s not let him.  Matthew 25:40:  “The King will reply ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’” 

Prayers Please

                Are there any prayer warriors out there?  Great….because we need ‘ya!  This Friday, July 5^th, at 10:00 there will be a very important meeting in Haiti that will have a large impact on our referral (matching of us with our child).  If anyone has a few moments between now and then and would like to lift up those involved we would be grateful!  We want God’s hands and plans to be all over this process and would like it to be covered in prayer!

                For those that love the details (like me):  Yes, we entered IBESR but they are not matching families with children right now.  In fact, they have not matched anyone in 2013.  They have not put any procedures in place and no one knows when that will happen.  Rumor has it that they are waiting on the new laws to pass before they begin matching.  (Since it has been over a year and the law has not passed everyone is concerned as to when it will happen.)  Many adoption agencies, orphanage directors and lawyers are meeting with the IBESR administrators on Friday at 10:00AM to come to an agreement on how to proceed with the referrals.  If they come to an agreement (which we are praying they will…AMEN!!) then referrals could start right away! 

                And a referral means we could possibly learn who God has ordained for our family.  And that would mean we could start praying specifically.  And that would mean a trip to meet them……Oh I must stop.   My heart cannot handle the anticipation. 

                Would you join us in praying for these next few days?  This is not just for us.  These people are meeting in rooms and discussing procedures but may they never forget that they are discussing children.  May all of their decisions be made in the best interest of the children and not for policies or procedures.  Praying God will be in control of everything.

Colossians 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.

                This is one of my favorites from the devotional Jesus Calling.  “Trust Me by relinquishing control into My hands.  Let go, and recognize that I am God…..When you bring Me prayer requests, lay out your concerns before Me.  Speak to Me candidly; pour out your heart.  Then thank Me for the answers that I have set into motion long before you can discern results. 

Lord….we are praying and thanking you already for all that you are doing!  AMEN!