The Good, Bad, Ugly and The Truth…

Instead of our night being filled with packing suitcases it was spent cancelling plane tickets.  Yes, you read that right.  That would be the bad.  The good would be that we immediately rebooked but for a later date.  My head tells me it only ended up being two weeks later but my heart says….two weeks!!  Everyone can say that it is all a part of God’s plan and that two weeks is nothing in the scope of this adoption and you are right.  But to me….two weeks is a long time!  We will now leave on March 1^st and return on March 17^th. 

The truth?  Well, adoption just isn’t easy and it isn’t pretty.  To say it very bluntly, adoption is expensive. When I was adopted by Jesus it cost him his life!  

John 1:12 ~ But to all who believed Him and accepted Him, He gave the right to become children of God.  

Q & A

                I think in my haste to share our travel dates I failed to answer questions so this is a follow-up to my last post.  Unfortunately, we will not be bringing our little man home on this trip.  Unlike other countries, Haiti requires at least two travel trips.  This trip is called our ‘bonding trip.  We will have two weeks to meet, bond and get to know our little guy.  The Haitian Children’s Services Department will have the opportunity to observe all of us together.  They must approval or deny our ‘bond’ in order for our adoption to continue. 

                After this trip, and assuming we are approved, : ) then we would continue to court (where he would legally become a Shearer) and then on to passport and Visa printing.  They expect it to take +/- 7 months to bring him home after our trip to Haiti.

       Some questions we have been asked:

                *Where will we be staying:  our orphanage is in Petionville which is a city in the mountains outside of Port-au-Prince.  The orphanage has a guest house that we will stay at along with other visiting families and volunteers. 

                *  What will our day look like?  We expect to spend mornings and afternoons with our son (can you believe I am saying that!!)  He will go back with his nanny for meals, naptime and each night.  We will return to the guest house each night. 

                 * What will Ashley & Travis be doing?  They will be hanging out with grandparents.  We hope to be able to Facetime with them at some point and hopefully send pictures back and forth.  

                *  Other than these things listed….we don’t know.  We haven’t done this before and we are learning as we go.  And to this ‘gal who likes to plan things out that is a whole lesson in just trusting God!  Each day is a day to trust Him to help me through and help me trust more in all ways.  

We’re going to Haiti!

               We received our invitation from IBESR and we are going to Haiti!  They basically called with two specific weeks and we didn’t dare say no.  We instantly said Yes, Yes, Yes!!!  We spent the next few hours working on flights and other arrangements.  God’s word says He will give us the desires of our heart….that is so true!  He not only gave us relatively quick dates but He has worked the dates so that we can see the children at our church’s orphanage also!  We will arrive in Haiti two days early and spend time with them before going to meet our son!  Oh those words….going to meet our son! 

                We already have flights booked, hotels booked, chauffeurs arranged and we are starting to pack.  We are putting finishing touches on the arrangements for Ashley and Travis now.  You can begin praying for me now…..16 days away from my children!  GASP!   Slowly but surely God has prepared me for this moment.  Exactly 1 year ago I flew to California to meet Todd on a business trip.  It was my first time leaving the children and it was only for 3 days!  And this past fall we both went to Haiti on our first international trip.  We were slowly working our way into this trip. But, 16 days is a long time!  Whew!  I’ll need the prayers and Todd will need them because he will be dealing with me!  Haha!  (Not that daddy’s don’t love their children like mommy’s but since they travel so much for work I think the time away isn’t as hard for them.  They are used to it more than us mommy’s.) 

                So, in less than three weeks we will be meeting and holding our little boy!  We will begin to learn his personality and have a chance to love on him!  Now if I can contain my excitement and begin to put two thoughts together in a row I might stand a chance of getting everything done in time!  : ) 

                I added a new family picture (with our little man) on our page.  Here’s a big picture of our little guy!!!! (He was 12 months old in this picture and he is 15 months old now.)  

It’s a family thing…

                The past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind in our home (as you can only imagine).  My mind has been going non-stop with planning, dreaming, wondering, questioning, imagining and praying about everything you can imagine and then praying for things that I haven’t thought of yet!!  I want this whole process to be covered in prayer!  But this process isn’t about me!  This journey is for our whole family and I thought I would share how our whole family is a part of this journey. 

                On the day we got the call, I immediately called Todd and then drove to the school to sign the kids out of school.  Is that crazy?  Yes!  Is this a life changing day?  Absolutely!!  I didn’t want to tell anyone without telling them first!  I told them we were coming home to have a ‘fun lunch’ and then told them when we got home.  Ashley burst into tears with the news and jumped into my lap and Travis just jumped all over the room!  He was so excited and didn’t know what to do with his energy!  He jumped and cried together!  We had such a fun time celebrating and praying together. 

                Within a few days we had pictures enlarged and placed around the house.  The kids have been a big part of helping us choose a name for our son.  We were not going to change the name of an older child but with him being younger it is something we are considering.  We all like the same name (yeah….it’s a God-thing!!)  We love the meaning and we think it is fitting for him.  It has been fun to have the kids be a part of this process. 

                Almost immediately, Travis announced that he was sharing a bedroom with his little brother!  We had talked prior to getting our referral that we were unsure about how to rearrange bedrooms.  We have an extra bedroom but thought that sharing might make the transition easier for a kiddo used to being around a lot of other little ones.  We wanted to find out their age/gender before making that decision.  As soon as we found out, Travis was determined they were sharing and is already talking about their new room.  It’s so sweet!  I’m so ready to start getting the room ready just because we are all so excited!! 

                Tonight just broke my heart…..I am on a facebook private group of people adopting from the same orphanage.  Someone posted a picture of our little guy from when they went to visit their son a couple of months ago.  When she tagged me in the picture other people started commenting also.  We were reading the comments at dinner tonight. The one comment said that even though we couldn’t see his shirt it actually said “I Love My Daddy”.  The one woman said that his eyes are very captivating and she loved looking at him each day.  It was at that point that little Travis started crying.  He sweetly said “I miss him and I want him home”.  It was a hard dinner tonight with all of us ending up in tears.  Ashley is as tender (if not more so) than Travis but often doesn’t share her thoughts as openly as Travis does.  She just quietly weeps when upset…..like tonight.  We talked about how amazing it is that God can knit hearts together when we haven’t even met yet. 

                Praying that God will continue to knit all of our hearts together and safeguard them through the rest of this process.  It isn’t easy on anyone….especially the little ones. 

                Thank you for your support through this journey, for loving us and for loving our children through this too!  So many people came to find us on Sunday to ‘meet’ our little guy (even coming to find me in the nursery)….it was awesome to feel so loved and supported!  The kids told us how many people spoke to them and gave them hugs too (even when we weren’t around)….Thank you!  

Here's a picture we took of the kids at their school Christmas program a couple of weeks ago.  Love them so!

"The Call"

                It happened….almost two weeks ago we received “the call” that changed our lives!  It started as a normal Tuesday morning with Todd in California and me sitting down to complete some adoption grant  paperwork after dropping the kids off at school.  I wondered who was calling so early in the morning and when I saw it was our agency I just knew.  As soon as I answered they asked if I was driving and told me to sit down…..I started crying.  (I didn’t stop for a week!)  It was then that I learned of our third child.  I heard a name, a gender and an age…..and love began!  It was instantly clear that God’s hand was already upon it all….it was my day off; Todd was still in his hotel so we could talk, cry and pray together for a long time; and His Hand has been upon everything since! 

                Our youngest is ….a little boy!  He just turned 14 months old on December 21^st!  He has the smoothest sweet skin and the darkest eyes that have a definite sparkle to them!  He has those sweet baby cheeks that you just can’t wait to kiss.  Oh my goodness I could just go on and on! 

                We have said we were open to a boy or a girl up to the age of 5 so we feel that God has hand-picked this little guy to be in our family and we are thrilled beyond measure.  If you see us we will be glad to show you a picture if you ask (and maybe even if you don’t) but we will keep that to private times for now. 

                For those of you following our journey here’s what happened:  you know that we have waited for this new law to be passed this entire year so that matching of families and children could begin.  We are the first family to receive a referral with our agency.  When we received the call we learned of his name and approximate age only.  I had found a picture of him on the orphanage website and in our newsletter (we are pretty familiar with the children at the orphanage after praying for them all this time) but it took almost 24 hours to get a picture of him from our agency.  We received the actual referral with personality and medical information 6 days later (everything was in Creole/French and had to be translated).   We had 15 days from the date we received the referral to give our decision in writing (official and notarized letter) which we did….of course!!  Unfortunately, our acceptance letter was rejected because it was written in English and not Creole.  No one (not even our agency) knew it needed to be written in Creole.  We had it translated, re-signed by all parties and resent as soon as possible.  Yesterday (New Year’s Eve) we received confirmation that they received and accepted our referral acceptance letter.  Those are fancy words for:  we are officially matched and he is soon to be ours!!! 

                What happens next?  Well, we expect we will travel to meet him sometime in January.  Can you believe it?? I am beside myself.  Will he be quiet, outgoing, shy, playful, mischevious, giggly, ticklish, snuggly, timid, sweet?  All those things we will find out in time!  Ok, back to the basics….we must be evaluated by the social worker to see how he bonds with us and vice versa.  We must stay for two weeks while they evaluate us (and no our children are not allowed to travel with us).  Assuming they approve us and our bonding, we return home and our paperwork then all goes to Court where he will become a SHEARER!!!  The court process can take anywhere from 3 weeks to 3 months.  After court, they will print passports and visas which can take anywhere from 3 weeks to 3 months.  Then we will return to Haiti and bring him home!!!! 

                In October I was dreaming of who our child would be and thinking it was going to be another 1-1.5 years before they would be home. Now we know who he is and we are looking at probably 6-9 months to have him home!  I am beside myself with excitement!!  The planning, dreaming and everything that is going on in my mind is unexplainable.  What IS explainable is how God has had His hand in everything! 

                Psalm 68:6 God sets the lonely in families.

Best Christmas Present Ever

           If you know us well, then you know that the past few months have been kind of a challenge in some ways as we have had some adjustments to get used to in our lives.  After many years of Todd’s work schedule keeping him close to home, he now is traveling a lot and it is a major adjustment for our family.  Add to that the wait of an adoption and it can get crazy.  This past week seemed to be an especially crazy week.  Todd was once again traveling (this time to California) and was gone from Sunday morning to Saturday night.  Ashley was in the Living Christmas Tree performance at our church which is a wonderful ministry but a demanding schedule.  It meant long nights and boring nights for her brother who always seemed lost in the shuffle. (Thanks to good friends who carpooled most of the week to allow me to stay home with him.)

           Sunday came and we went to see both performances.  We went as a family to see one performance and the other so we could watch Ashley with friends and family.  It was amazing.  I laughed and cried through the whole thing.  I have been so proud that Ashley has felt so convicted to be a part of this ministry and has shown such dedication each day!  Even though she was tired she was determined to stick out the week! 

           She saw the fruits of her labor on Sunday…..when Travis asked Jesus into his heart at the 3:00 performance!  When Pastor Rhys said for those that said the prayer of salvation to raise their hands and I saw those big brown eyes look at me from Todd’s lap I just knew!  He was nervous but he had done it!  He raised his little arm as my tears started to flow!  He has talked about asking Jesus into his heart for awhile but we didn’t want to push and I guess Sunday was the perfect day! 

           For those that are so full of adult-wisdom in thinking that a 6 year old is too young to make a decision for Christ…..let’s leave that judgment up to God.  Because to tell him it wasn’t real is like telling him the sky isn’t blue.  He knows what he did and knows why he wanted to do it.  I believe we all need to have faith like a child and love like a child….with abandon!  May I always love that way! 

            So, this Christmas we will rejoice over our second child now being born into God’s family!  Praise the Lord!

           Thank you to all that served in the Living Christmas Tree! It certainly had an impact in our life.  

Family Update

          Where has the time gone?  I have all these stories I have wanted to blog about but days turn into weeks and they are still in my mind and not on the computer.  SO much has happened in our family since I last blogged. 

          The trip to Haiti that Todd and I took in October was wonderful and full of blessings.  It is amazing how we thought we were going to bless others and we were the ones blessed in the end  (more on that trip to come).

          November brought some high points and low points for our family.  Ever since sin entered the world it has brought with it poverty, heartache, illnesses and a host of other problems.  Sometimes it is just the reality that life ends too quickly and unexpectedly.  A dear friend has walked this road recently and it has been hard.  Yet, the joy of the Lord always prevails!  He carries us when we cannot walk ourselves!  His loves never fail!  We have experienced this anew and seen how He can carry us through a hard time.  God is So good.  November also brought illness to our home and with two sick children that can mean tired mamas, yucky everything and not so fun anything!  But it also brought a fun trip to Ohio to visit family and great memories to last a lifetime.  God sent snow to Ohio while we were there (almost 8 inches in one night even) and the children were thrilled!!  Who’s kidding…..we were all thrilled!  We spent one entire day sledding, making snowmen, having snowball fights, and sledding, sledding, sledding. We only came in long enough to warm our fingers and toes and we would go back out again.  Most of you know that Todd and I grew up in Ohio so snow and sledding are not new to us.  BUT, I did experience something new with sledding this time……it was my first time ever sledding with cows!  Yes, we were sledding on the pasture hill at Todd’s uncle’s farm and the cows were incredibly curious as to what we were doing.  In the morning they stayed at a good distance and just watched us.  But by the afternoon, we were zooming within a few feet of their legs.  They crossed the hillside numerous times and just watched us like we were crazy.  They came and sniffed our vehicles and walked all around.  It was hysterical. Todd’s uncle let us borrow a tractor so the kids had a ‘taxi’ to bring them back up the hill at the end of each sled-ride.  It was awesome.  Sled-ride down (miss the cows), call for a taxi, get a ride up, and repeat.  Families are amazing….we had grandparents on the hillside with us, uncles that came and pushed for hours, aunts that came to watch, cousins that came and played for hours and brought an inner tube (so cool!) and more aunts and uncles that let us use their farm (and giggled at us for hours from their front window I believe).   J 

           We are now home and continuing our thankful spirit as we begin to celebrate Christmas.  We have slowly started decorating and we are enjoying doing a little bit each day and spending time together.  

These past two months have been pretty hard (especially for me) on the adoption front.  Our trip to Haiti was amazing but I think it just put even more of a yearning in my heart for our child.  When the law passed I had such high hopes that things would move quickly and now 3 months later when nothing has happened it begins to wear me down some days. I know that God’s plan and timing is perfect and we would rather wait for His timing than demand our way, but it is hard.  A close friend must have been able to see it in my demeanor and had a pick-me-up this week by throwing us an adoption fundraiser.  It was a nice night to get together with close friends and visit and share.  This road often feels isolating but I am realizing we are not alone. There are many people with us they just may not know what to do or say.  Those of you reading this are those people, and we are grateful for you! These days when I am sad and even when I cannot put my feelings into words….thank you for understanding.  When we yearn for someone we do not yet know and you do not understand yet you listen…..Thank you.  For in my heart I know they are out there.  I know someone else is caring for them, putting them to bed, playing, rocking and celebrating Christmas with them.  I pray someone else is doing those things. 

           Thank you for loving us through this!  We couldn’t do it without your support!  Sometimes we wonder how much our children ‘get’ what is going on with the adoption since it is so hard for them to fully understand.  Well, on Thursday Ashley went to get the mail and started screaming at the mailbox and came running through the yard.  I went running in my slippers thinking something tragic happened.  She was jumping and thrust an envelope in my hand yelling “Open It!”  As I glanced at the envelope it all became clear and I started crying.  It was the quarterly newsletter from the orphanage we are adopting through.  She thought they were mailing our referral to us.  She (being 9) never knew it came via a phone call.  She went from a mountain to a valley in about 2 seconds.  Oh…. this journey is not for the faint of heart……for any members of a family.  SO thankful we have a loving God to carry us, love us and who will fulfill this journey with us!

           Many blessings to you all!

Nothing like sledding with the cows!

They thought we were crazy!