New information on Jessica

(See previous post if you don't know who Jessica is) 

    Have you heard me say that we love our orphanage?  See….they love Jesus and children and to us that is a winning combination!  They do not stand for the injustice of children and aren’t willing to back down to those that mistreat minors.  Today…the American director of our orphanage had the Haitian administrator go and talk with the family about this little girl.  Oh my goodness!  That is called putting the light where there is darkness!   It sounds like the conversation was very positive, they were receptive and they know that future follow-up will occur.  For clarification, we were told today that Jessica is not an actual restavec but a family member and it may have not even been her but her older sister. 

     What really matters is that God knows what goes on behind walls and God will always deliver those that cannot protect themselves.  His children are being mistreated all over the world (even in the US) and someone will pay for each one (in this life or the next).  I am proud that our orphanage will stand up against it and is not afraid to shine the light of Jesus in dark places.  May the blood of Jesus cover the children in that household and may the Holy Spirit convict those that are thinking of hurting His children.  May we do our part to shine the light of Jesus and speak up for children that cannot speak up for themselves.  

The worst moment of my life taught me true love.

      “Restavec” is a Haitian word for child slave.  There are many child slaves in Haiti.  There is a known child slave that lives near the guest house that we are staying at this week. I have not seen her but Todd has and he said she is beautiful.  Her name is Jessica. 

     Last night as we returned home after our Embassy trip and our visit with Oberson, we were just getting out of the car when we heard a noise.  We all stopped and the hair stood up on my neck.  It was nothing like I had ever heard. No movie could capture, no book could describe….the sound of a little girl screaming and the sound of a whip ripping her flesh. Her voice cutting through the air begging them to stop and feet on pavement trying to get away.  I instantly started crying and Todd was looking for a way to jump the wall.  Being outsiders there’s nothing we could do and the man that runs the guest house wasn’t home.  We stopped and prayed a hedge of protection and what we could do for this little girl.  We would be willing to pay for her freedom yet know they would just buy another child and the cycle would continue. 

     After praying (and crying) I have come to realize that as much as this moment has brought me heartache and sounds in my head that I cannot erase…..it has also taught me about true love.  Some people question how Oberson’s birth mother could have given him up for adoption.  How could a mother do such a thing?  We don’t know her situation but life in Haiti isn’t like life in the US.  In a country with over 70% unemployment and those that do work make less than $1 a day it is so hard just to live.  One container of water is almost $1 and that isn’t anything else.  You might work a week (if you have a job) just to get rice.  It is crazy expense.  So to have a child and not be able to feed it would be the worst kind of pain I could imagine.  Her options as a mother would be so hard.  How much did she love him?  She loved him enough to give him a future.  She could have sold him….he is a boy.  He would have made good money for her to be honest.  She could have raised him and sold him to be a slave.  She could have had him work to provide for her.  She could have done a lot of things.  Yet, she loved him enough to give him a better life.  She wanted more for him.  That is a mother.  That is loving someone more than yourself.  That is true love. 

     My worst moment with my worst sound that echoes in my mind reminds me of true love in other people.  Yes, there are always evil people in this world.  There are also still wonderful people in this world that love their babies and wonderful people who care for them (like our orphanage).  God loves us all and is always there to redeem and carry us through.  This was never His plan but He came to love us and adopt us so that we can experience His perfect love also!  

Haiti Q & A (and Hair Update)

     So…what’s life like in Haiti?  I’ll tell ‘ya!  Our orphanage (God’s Littlest Angels a/k/a GLA) is located high up in the mountains so it is very different than any other part of Haiti than we have been in before.  We typically are in Carrefour which is about sea level.  We are about 3600 elevation now. Yesterday we visited the new orphanage being built at Fort Jacques which is at 4500 elevation.  It was breathtaking.

     What is the Guest House Like? It doesn’t seem like Haiti!!! It has 5 main bedrooms all with multiple bunk beds in each room.  Our room has 3 bunk beds.  We have a huge breakfast each morning served at 7:30 sharp.  Today was freshly squeezed orange juice (amazing) with pancakes and fruit (bananas, pineapple, mango, watermelon are served at each meal).  I used a Keurig for our coffee.  We have hot showers but they are very short (water off while you wash, etc).  We do have wifi too.  The best part is the open balcony that has amazing views!!  There are two women that work here and do the dishes after breakfast and then have dinner ready when we return each evening. It is served at 6:00 sharp each night.  They clean all day and do the laundry and then have dinner ready and do the dishes afterwards.  We are spoiled for sure. 

·         Funny story:  I looked at the bunk beds and asked Todd to sleep with me the first night.  He laughed.  I was serious.  I told him I would sleep better with him.  Again, he laughed.  About 4:00 in the morning I hear footsteps and here comes my man…yep, we shared! : )  We don’t share each night but we are on two bottom bunks.  It’s different for sure.   

     What is the best part? That would be when we went to pick Oberson up from the nursery and he got excited to see us, smiled and reached for us!  Pretty awesome!  He is starting to recognize us and get excited to see us.  He will walk away from us and play with his friends and then after a few minutes will turn, see us, smile big, run to us and throw himself into our arms.  The best feeling ever!  Doesn’t happen every time but it is incredible!

      What is the hardest? When we have to take him back to the nursery.  He didn’t want to go back this evening and we watched him get put into his crib and just sit quietly and watch us walk away. It broke my heart. 

      What is the most difficult: Ha!  that would be me trying to be respectful and eat whatever they prepared and yet remain the incredibly picky eater that I am!  Seriously!  Go ahead and laugh!  I haven’t even asked what meat I have been eating because I really didn’t want to know. It has been good.  Last night was pumpkin soup with cabbage, potatoes, carrots and meat.  I ate everything but the cabbage (I dumped it into Todd’s bowl when he went to get more bread….don’t tell him).  Today we had chili (I hate chili) but I added enough cheese and sour cream that it was good. : )  The fruit is amazing so that is awesome!  Breakfast is awesome!  I haven’t eaten goat on this trip….that I know of!  Again….I’m not asking so I don’t know!  The flavors are great but new flavors, new foods and nerves….not a good combo. They have a good mix of American and Haitian food. 

      Now for the hair….dom.dom.dom:  Oh. My. Goodness!  Yeah well, I should have just packed another pair of cute shoes for the waste of space for all my ‘girly get-ready-things”.  No hair dryers actually means no hair dryers.  Hum.  And they don’t allow curling irons or straightening irons either!  Actually when I laughed about the no hair dryers and then tried to make a joke about the curling iron I was quicky told (in a non-laughing manner) that curling irons were not allowed!  With this heat and humidity I have curls I didn’t know I have and frizz that is a conversation starter.  My poof matches the little poof balls they put on the top of the little baby girl’s heads.  Nice.  Oh well. The nannies just look at me and start yapping in Creole so fast.  I wish I knew what they were saying.  : )  (many of you have said my hair looks nice in the pictures….first of all “Thank you”. Secondly, I have the ability to take 500 pictures and pick the 1 that I like.  You may never see the other 499 and my poof ball.  Maybe one day I will post one just to laugh.)

      Have you done anything crazy?  Yes!  They have huge trucks and we rode on the back standing up and just holding on as we drove all around town today.  We were way above the top of the cab of the truck.  It was crazy.  We were holding onto the cage and standing on the seats instead of sitting down.  It was so much easier to stand instead of sitting since the roads were so bumpy.  We just had to duck for wires and branches vs break your tailbone with all the bumps.  Those that have been in Haiti will understand.  My mother would have mortified had she seen me.  I thought it was cool!  On good roads we went pretty darn fast!!  Some people were taking pictures…I was holding on for my life!  Haha!

     My thoughts on Oberson:  Just like any parent, we think he is the cutest and smartest little guy ever.  His life (like every other orphan) is mainly lived in a nursery with a nanny. He has a volunteer that takes him each day to the balcony for individual time/attention for 1 hour a day.  While we are here, he is with us for 6 hours a day.  Right off the bat to say that is a change in his routine is an understatement.  We can already see how much he has changed just in one week…..on SO many levels.  Of course, in the beginning he didn’t know us.  As the hours and days have progressed he has gotten more comfortable with us. He has also learned more things and began to trust us more….in just days!!  He is learning our voices and will turn when he hears us call his name.  He will giggle when we chase him, laugh when we tickle him and listen (half of the time) when we tell him No! : )  What we have found amazing is how he has responded to one on one attention.  He isn’t used to that you can tell.  His time on the balcony has been free play for the most part but with us we are working with him to do things each day.  Each time together we have worked with a new concept/toy and it has been amazing to watch his thought process/development as he must figure it out.  Some he enjoys more than others.  Haha!  He loves balls and loves one we brought more than anything else. He carries it in his hand all the time and cries if he drops it or someone takes it away.

     Trust:  building that trust has been hard of course.  He still has bonded with me in a way he hasn’t with Todd but again that is normal considering all of his nannies are female.  Do I think we are bonded for life?  Of course not!  A bond is a person who can be trusted because they meet a need.  Then after that bond is reinforced over time an attachment is formed.  He comes to both of us now for play, comfort when scared and for most things (bottle, hold hands, etc).  But he is beginning to trust me more and more.  We experienced this yesterday for the first time.  He has fallen asleep on us but not in the traditional way we are used to in America.  He will not face us and cuddle or put a head on a shoulder.  He is not used to a comfort hold like that.  He wouldn’t let himself relax or anyone to get that close.  Yesterday…he did!  He snuggled with me and went to sleep in my arms!  It was a big step and showed that he is really beginning to bring down those walls and trust us on new levels. 

     What will happen now?  On Friday we had our first of two interviews.  Monday we will go to the Embassy and we will have our second interview sometime this coming week.  The rest of the week will be filled with time with Oberson.  Our sermon today was from none other than a good ‘ole GA boy Andy Stanley and was on worry (a video of course).  It spoke so much to me as I have been pretty worried about leaving Oberson.  I have seen his life, I see where he spends his days and I have no desire to leave him here.  I must trust God, trust His plan and not worry about tomorrow.  I ask you to pray for us.  Pray that we have a good last week together and that God would protect Oberson’s heart.  As he begins to trust us we need to protect him as we leave.  May our Lord hold him when we cannot and protect his heart. 

Daddy Time...

     Yesterday was a full day and we went to bed exhausted but with full hearts!  We spent almost the entire day with Oberson and then ended our day talking with Ashley and Travis via Facetime…..our hearts are full!  I was too tired to update. I wrote this blog this morning but didn’t get it uploaded before it was time to leave.  Now Oberson is with his nanny for lunch/napso I will update quickly to give you an idea of what happened yesterday and share some prayer requests for our prayer warriors out there! (Thank you to those praying….we need them and we feel them!  This is emotional which is exhausting and your prayers are greatly appreciated!)

     The orphanage is filled with women so Oberson has not had a lot of experience with men, especially white men.  It is common (and we expected) that the bonding with daddy would be more difficult.  It has proven to be the case with us.  Yesterday we began to concentrate on forming that relationship.  Todd has the patience needed and has been amazing with Oberson.  He just played and played with him, being very consistent yet not pushing throughout the day.  We took time away from all of the other children and went to a room with just the three of us for awhile.  Oberson let Todd hold him and we read books and played with toys.  He was able to see me yet allowed Todd to hold him (huge).  For the first part of the day he would come back to me every so often for reassurance but by the end of the day they would play and I could remain out of the way.  Todd still cannot kiss or hug him though as he pushes back and gets upset. It will come.  It is only day two.  Todd is longing to hold him though and aches to kiss him like I can.  That would be one of our main prayer wishes that you pray for their bond. 

     It was a wonderful day!  We played on the balcony for hours.  We went for a long walk on the roads surrounding the orphanage.  We pushed him in the swings, read books, played balls (his favorite) and cars.  This morning we have had a blow-up bouncy house out and it was a blast!  We had lots of fun and then he fell asleep on Todd!  Yay!  Progress!  God is SO good!    

     Please continue to pray for all of our bonding and for Ashley and Travis.  They are doing well but seemed a little on the sad side last night.  It’s getting real and we have a long time to go yet.  Thank you so much friends!  Your support is overwhelming!! We are overwhelmed….this whole process is amazing yet overwhelming too!  Love you all!

     I’ll leave you with some pictures so we can go see our SON!  : )

Don't you love the view from the balcony! 

The beginnings….Day 1

           My heart is full.  I hardly know how to put what we experienced today into words but I know I must try as so many of you have sent messages asking how it went.  Thank you for the prayers and love!

           This afternoon we walked into the balcony of God’s Littlest Angels to see our son.  He was sitting on a bench just like a big boy except the look on his face showed confusion and apprehension.  This was a room usually filled with friends and laughter and now it was quiet with strangers walking in the door.  He sat in the cutest outfit and looked so adorable that I wanted to grab him immediately but refrained so I didn’t scare him.  I sat in front of him and started to talk to him.  Of course all the Creole I practiced was lost (he speaks no English) which means we didn’t understand a word each other was saying.  But God was knitting our hearts together. 

           We got out some toys and he loved the balls we brought.  The cars aren’t too bad either but the balls are definitely the favorite.  He never let the one go the rest of the day.  He warmed up to me the most but I think he is more familiar with women than men.  After playing with ‘daddy’ for awhile he warmed up to him also.  We had about a half hour of time alone together before other volunteers and children joined us for play.  It was a chance to see him interact with other children too. 

           All in all for our first meeting it went very well.  He never cried or anything like that. He allowed us to hold and carry him.  We tickled, chased, played ball and just played toys. I changed his diaper and did all the mom things for awhile. 

           And I didn’t even cry until I had to return him to the nursery!  That’s pretty darn good for me!  : )  Then I boo-hoo’d!  I’m exhausted now but already counting the hours until we can get him tomorrow.  We’ll see if he comes to us in the morning. 

          Here are a few pics from today.  

Help Bring Oberson Home….

So many of you have asked about what you can do to help bring Oberson home.  We appreciate all of the support!  If you want to help, there are three main ways….

1.        Pray for us!  We need prayer warriors that will carry us through the journey.  This is our most important need!  The things we need can only be achieved by God. 

   *  Pray that we will seek God in all situations…and not by emotions, distractions, etc. 

   *  Pray that all of our hearts will be united in a way that is only from above. 

   *  Pray for patience and understanding at this journey and to trust His timing vs our timing.

   *  Pray for Oberson as he will have more adjustments than we can understand.  Also,  that Ashley and Travis will be understanding through the travel & transitions and that we will remain observant to their needs. 

2.       Anyone want some jewelry?  I’m still selling jewelry as a fundraiser if anyone is interested.  I have the magazine necklaces made in Uganda by Amazima as well as glass earrings from Haiti and other items.  If you are interested, please let me know! I have a large supply of most items at the house.

3.       We have been approved for a matching grant by HeartCry Ministries which is an orphan ministry at our church.  The matching grant is through LifeSong which is a worldwide ministry to orphans.  Basically, whatever donations we receive in our name (fund) HeartCry will match up to $4000!  (That's $8000 y'all if we were fully funded!!) Donations are tax deductible.  Each year we have a Pasta Dinner to raise money for orphan ministries locally and around the world as well as raising money for adoptions.  We are being blessed by it this year!  A $10 donation would become $20 through this matching grant!  How amazing!  We are SO blessed and this is just another blessing.  If you are interested in donating, you can either use the link on the website and make a donation through PayPal or mail a check to LifeSong for Orphans, P.O. Box 40, Gridley, IL  61744.  PLEASE put Shearer Family #4306 on the memo line or we will not get credit for your donation! 

Your friendship, support and encouragement through all of this has been amazing to us!  Thank you for loving us and being so excited to meet our little guy!  : )  We can’t wait to meet him too!   J

Look who has gotten two little teeth! : )

Oh...I can't wait to kiss those cheeks!  

4 Days....

The calls, emails, messages and cards we are receiving is so touching!  Amazing actually!  We cannot begin to say thank you and we cannot begin to answer all the questions so I thought I would begin here with the most commonly asked. Ready? 

How are we doing?  Obviously, we are a range of emotions from beyond excited and somewhat apprehensive, to “just want to get down there already!”  It depends greatly on the moment, how prayed up we feel and who you are asking!  J

How are we preparing?  Differently! For sure! I think I began preparing, packing and nesting the moment we received our referral.  Todd has yet to start packing.  Seriously! It could be that he is a guy and he believes all things are ‘good’ and we have ‘plenty of time’ or it could be that he is working a ton of time trying to make up for being off of work for two weeks.  Most of the time when you travel you are able to be reached by phone and email right?  Well, we don’t know how much phone/email access we will have.  That is not comforting to his company that is in a major crunch time right now.  Being inaccessible for two weeks is hard and he is working hard to get as much done as he can before he leaves.  Last night he worked on his computer while I make packing lists, folded laundry, and worked all around him.  I’m sure it was a perfect working condition full of encouragement and support.  : )  But, for me….I just am a ball of nerves that his suitcase is still empty!  I give it another day and it will be full of my stuff or more ‘necessities’ and you will see Todd wearing the same outfit every single day because we ‘just didn’t have room’.  Sorry honey! 

What is the most emotional?  Determining how to shut off my brain, so to speak.  I want to be a good mommy and I want to do things the right way (as everyone does).  I have read the books, done the studies, taken the seminars and prayed about what I should do when we meet….yet HOW?  How do I walk into a room and tell this little boy that I am his mommy?  What IS a mommy to him?  That word holds no meaning.  How do I show that in mere hours a day?  What will set me apart from the other volunteers that have worked with him every other week since coming to the orphanage?  At this point, I need to put the books and classes aside and be in the moment.  Only GOD can bring our hearts together!  Only God can open his heart to see our love and begin to accept us.  Only God can work those miracles.  We put him in God’s hands a long time ago and we need to trust Him now.  The bonding and attachment process will take way longer than these two weeks but this will give us the opportunity to interact and begin to form those bonds. 

How will we ever say goodbye at the end of two weeks?  I haven’t really figured out how we’re going to say Hello so I haven’t begun to think about saying goodbye.  I do know that I have a gracious and loving Father that will carry me.  And I also know that this is not forever.  It may feel like forever and it may be the hardest thing I will ever do but I will not be alone.  Nor will Oberson.  God knew him before he was born, knows the hairs on his head and will protect and care for him until we return for him.

What is causing you the most stress about your trip? If you are looking for a spiritual answer here…just skip this one and keep going to the next one.  Or maybe find another blog because I’m not a great example!  My major stressor…..I heard a rumor that I cannot use my hair dryer for the whole two weeks we are at our orphanage!  Seriously people!  All these pictures of our sweet boy, daddy and the ‘crazy hair lady’.  Not kidding!  I’m not talking the second day hair look but two whole weeks!  Wow!  I could go without my curling iron but I’m a child of the 80’s and I can make a whole lot of junk with my hair dryer.  It’s pretty much a must in my life.  For those of you that think it isn’t a big deal….more power to ya!  Wow!  I wish I was like you!  My husband wishes I was like you!  I’ll just tell ya now….it’s not going to be pretty.  Haiti, hot, humid…..ok I need to stop or I will become stressed..  Deep breaths.  Whew.

What kind of stuff are you packing (everyone is curious about an international trip to a place like Haiti)?  Well, I will say that I am packing a hair dryer just in case (I am married to an engineer and the place runs off a generator. I figure he’s bound to figure something out right?  Oh the stories we might tell!  )  Other than that, we are packing our clothes of course and a small amount of food.  Our orphanage has a guest house that we will stay at for our visit.  They have hosts at the guest home that cook the meals and provide the linens so we just provide personal items.  We are taking some snacks for the evenings or between meals.  I am taking medicines (i.e. malaria prevention and other meds in case we would get sick….it’s a long trip).  We have packed a bunch of donations for the orphanage such as baby items for the nursery and some office supplies.

Lastly we are taking some special things for our little man.  The kids have each picked out some clothes.  We hope to wear them on him while we are there but they will be donated of course for everyone.  We are taking toys to play with while there but again they will be for everyone to enjoy.  We have balls, cars, blocks as well as some old fashioned toys.  We wanted to have an array of toys with us to see what he might like so we know what to have here at home for him.  We have 4 personal items for him that will remain with him only. 

     1)      A blanket that has his name on it.

     2)      A blue teddy bear that we all picked out as a family. (Ashley and Travis have each had a teddy since they were young).

·         We hope to have some cuddle time with the blanket and teddy bear while we are there and he will then enjoy them with us, have them while we are gone, and then bring them home with him…all to help with the transition and help bring it all together.

·         Ashley and Travis have been sleeping with the teddy bear and blanket to help them smell like our house.  : )

     3)      A recordable storybook with all of our voices so that he can hear and remember our voices as well as be introduced to Ashley and Travis.

4   4)     A printed board book with pictures.  We had this printed so he can hold it and see our pictures.  Very simple but has 1 picture per page that says something like:  daddy loves Oberson and has a picture of Todd.  Includes pictures of:  daddy, mommy, Ashley, Travis, Oreo (our cat), Our Home, Our family holding his picture. 

What are you the most excited about? Everything!  I just can’t wait to get there and hug him! 

How long will you be gone? We will leave early March 1^st and return in the evening of March 17^th.

How are Ashley and Travis taking all of this? God has blessed us with amazing children that are so accepting (so far) of our adoption!  We recognize it will get hard but they are so excited.  Travis (6) is tender just like Ashley (9) but he just sees the end date.  He just wants him home.  Every day we aren’t in Haiti means one more day later that he is coming home.  Ashley is sad that she isn’t going.  She wants to go to Haiti in the worst way.  She really wants to see where he lives and wants to see Haiti.  Knowing she will go ‘someday’ isn’t helping.  She wants it to be now.  Travis thinks he might have to eat something besides Pb&J so he isn’t ready to go just yet.   J He’ll wait for him here. 

What can we do to help? We greatly appreciate all of the offers to help! We have been blessed with an amazing opportunity and I’ll be blogging about it tomorrow since this is long today.  Thanks for being so invested in the life of our family!

Here are some of the personal items for Oberson:  his teddybear, his boardbook and his blanket.