Being 'Real'

       My whole life I thought I was supposed to be a ‘good example’ or to shine my light brightly so to speak. But I read a blog the other day and it really hit home to me that we aren’t really supposed to be a good example for other people.  We are called to be ‘real’ and Jesus is to be the example.  So here’s me being real……this whole adoption thing is just plain hard.  And I mean to-the-core-hard.  This month for me seems to be the worst for some reason.  Many of you have been asking and I have probably plastered a smile and said “Great” and you notice my blog has been quiet but it wasn’t me being honest.  Here’s honesty:

         *May marked one full year of actively pursuing adoption and that date for some reason has been hard for me to take in.  One full year of more paperwork than you can imagine.  One year of praying.  One year of what seems like little progress.

        *Our paperwork has been in legalization (in Haiti) since March which is where they review everything and approve/deny everything we have done.  We cannot move forward until this is done.  Calling all prayer warriors….if you would join us in praying us forward and that they accept everything that would be wonderful!

        *I know that God is in total control and that the wait has a purpose.  He has a plan for all of this.  I know that.  I trust that.  I trust Him.  But the wait is unbearable some days.   To know that our paperwork is already in country and that our child is already at an orphanage and yet will live there for probably 1 or 2 years before we can bring them home breaks my heart.

        The months of pain that we will go through will still not compare to what our child will go through.  This process is just hard all the way around.  Honestly….waiting stinks.  There I said it.  There may be a purpose for it but it still stinks.  I’m just sayin.  

The Steps

            Have you ever walked down a path that you really felt God had put before you and felt a wonderful all-encompassing peace that can only come from God?  Maybe He even gives you a glimpse of encouragement to show you that you are on the right path!  And then all of a sudden…..WHAM!  You feel like you walked into something like this?

What did it make you do?  Did it make you stop and re-evaluate?  Question what you were called to do?  Give up and go in the other direction? Or did you stop and wait?

We see this brick wall as impossible!  

But God can change it into something else!

A new path, a new direction, and even more beautiful than before!

          Our adoption journey had seemed to hit a brick wall a few months ago.  We were given all sorts of options and at times it became overwhelming.  I felt at times like I was up against this brick wall and I could not see the path ahead anymore.  We decided to stand still, wait and have confidence in where He had led us already.

          Tomorrow our completed dossier will be mailed to Haiti!  Yay!  I know many of you are wondering what that really means.  It basically means that our part of the paperwork is completed.  Our home study, dossier, translation, application to Immigration Department and everything in the U. S. has been completed and accepted.  It was accepted by the Haitian Consulate in Chicago this past week and now is being sent to Haiti.  We will now begin the wait to be matched with our child and the legal process in Haiti to bring them HOME!!

          The picture of the brick steps vividly describes our path.   Our wall (Haiti being open/closed for months) was changed to these beautiful brick steps that are so inviting and allow you to almost see the path ahead.  That’s how I feel about our journey.  We are again moving and we can see the path right where we are but the path ahead we cannot see.  We do not know what lies ahead.   We step up in faith knowing that our God loves us and protects us and He knows what is to come.

          Thank you for your love and support through these months of ups and downs!  Each day is one day closer to our family of 5.

The big deal with staples….

             We haven’t had a bunch of good news to update on the adoption front, but since everyone is asking we’ll just give an update. I’m reminded that life isn’t always perfect and it is ok to share the struggles and challenges as well as the successes. 

                I’ll be honest and share what I did to set us back a few steps on this journey. Yes, I did a huge blunder on the whole adoption journey.  Not intentional of course and I’m still baffled that it was so major but major it was.  If you are a reader of our blog or you know us personally, then you know of our trip to the capital to get the long awaited gold seals for our dossier.  (We have waited for the go-ahead for awhile now. )  For those who like us knew nothing about a gold seal……they attach the gold seal paper to the authentication form and notary signed letter with a blue paper and 2 staples.  As soon as we get in the car with our precious gold seals we called our agency and they tell us to go home and scan all the papers and send them to their office asap (all 100 pages).  Whew.  So, I spend an hour ripping all the staples out so Todd can scan all the documents at work and email them to the agency that afternoon.  After countless conversations with them we copy the package (now over 250 pages) 7 times and mail it to them and consider our part of the process DONE!   It is an amazing feeling knowing that we have completed our part and we are now waiting to be matched with our child.  Our social worker calls to congratulate us and the feeling is amazing. 

                THEN……I get an email that says our entire dossier has been rejected.  I guess they consider those little staples a pretty big deal and no one can ‘tamper’ with them.  Because I removed the staples to scan and copy the package I nullified our package and it will not be accepted.  They are returning it to us.  (*gasp and tears here*).  I have since been told I should have scanned and copied them individually.  It would have been nice to know that before but oh well.  It is done now. 

                What does this mean?  Well, we must begin that part of the process again.  They will return our dossier and we must get the state seals again.  It means we’ll make another trip to the capital, scan the new documents, have them translated again, copy the package again and then send it back to MI and see if it will be accepted by the Haitian Consulate this time. 

                Many of you ask if we know the information about our child yet and when they are coming home and I feel I must be honest while we are putting it all out there on this blog today.  As much as we love Haiti, it is known for having very slow adoptions.  It very well may be 2+ years before we can bring our child home.  We are praying that this is not the case!  We are praying that these new laws and procedures will shorten the adoption timelines but the current times are 2+ years. 

                Just in January of 2013 Haiti has made a new law that says that each agency can only submit ONE family for an adoption a month.  Yes, one family per month.  There are 6 families already waiting with our agency and we are praying to get our paperwork there to be family #7.  If they begin accepting families in Feb, (when they open) then the very earliest that we would be put into the system would be August.  We would be matched with a child sometime after that point.  Yes it is difficult for us too.  We thought we would have our package in Haiti long before now and now even if we get it there it won’t be accepted for many months.  Very hard to accept. 

                Basically, Haiti still does not have a system worked out.  They are making new laws and working out a system as they go which is hard for us (and a control freak like me).  We are learning as we go and making mistakes along the way.  We are praying God uses us and this to bring us together with our child and protects our hearts and all of our children’s hearts through this process. 

                In our Sunday school class we have been studying the Israelites as they wandered in the desert and I feel like one of them.  One day I am close with God and high on a mountain and the next I am complaining and looking for water.  I forget what I saw Him do and I begin to doubt.  Sometimes I feel like we have wandered around these many months collecting paperwork from everywhere and now we are right there standing next to the Promise Land but it’s just not time to enter in or to cross the Jordan river.  I feel like I can almost see it but there is something I must learn or experience before it is our time.  Pastor preached this week about Jericho and the walls coming down.  I’m praying the walls around adoptions in Haiti will come crashing down.  Not just for us but for all those wanting to adopt.  The orphanages are overrun with children who need to come home to their forever families but can’t because of the stand-stills.  There are children who need care but can’t go anywhere because the orphanages are full.  There are families all over who have empty bedrooms waiting on children while there are children in Haiti sleeping 3 to a bed or on the floors because lawmakers can’t come together.  We need walls to come down!  We need people to come together for the sake of children and get these kids home where they can be loved and cared for by their families!  Yes, we are blessed with a Christian orphanage that does a wonderful job caring for our kids but they will be the first to tell you that these kids need to come home! 

                Thank you for supporting us through the mountains and the valleys.   Join us in praying the walls will come down and that we will see real movement in this process.  Blessings~

Progress in this Process

     As I reflect over this day and in fact the past weeks and months, I am still in awe of where this journey has taken us.  I never thought that paperwork could take so very long to collect from so many different places.  I never realized how much of our life is controlled by “us” and this process is truly about waiting….on many levels.  We wait for people to get us documents, we wait for things in the mail, we wait for emails, we wait for news, we wait for phone calls……we wait. 

     I moved John Waller’s CD and song “While I’m Waiting” back into the front of my car playlist so I can hear and sing it all the time.  It is right where we have been.   It is where we will be for a long time and until our child is in our arms.  But isn’t life just a series of ‘wait’s?  We waited for our children to be able to talk and walk?  Now we are waiting for our child to be home with us?  We wait and pray for each of our children to know Jesus personally!  

     I think we do some of our best growing and learning in the waiting.  God speaks to us in the waiting.  Maybe we are able to listen more in the quiet.  I know it is true for my life sometimes. But let’s be honest….waiting isn’t easy.  I’m just like everyone else and there are days that waiting is just plain hard.  We heard that Haiti was open early in January and expected a call any day.  It never came.  Then the news came, that agency announcements would be made on the 10^th…..then the 14^th…..then for sure on the 15^th.  Well, by this point I was not waiting very patiently.  I was becoming a tad obsessed.  Every time I walked by the computer I just had to hit refresh and check to see if an email had posted.  I must have checked my cell phone every ½ hour just to make sure I didn’t miss a call.  It was crazy!  I knew it was crazy and I would pray and calm myself down and then minutes later I was grabbing my cell phone just to check.  Ugh.  Oh me of little faith.  I had a peace.  I knew the call was coming I just was so anxious that I couldn’t wait.  Patience….that is what I lack!   Well, of course, the day came that I got “the call”.  I was at Ashley’s gymnastics evaluation at a new gym when I glanced at my phone and saw the number.  I instantly started praying and staring at my phone.  There was such a moment of shock that I literally almost missed the phone call!  It was our Bethany representative calling to say they got their approval and we were ready to submit our application!  Of course the tears started coming.   The kids looked at me and just knew!  It was cool!     

     Ever since then it has been trying to work out schedules to get things moving.  Today was the day that Todd and I could get to the state to get the paperwork all sealed by the state of Georgia.  We had a beautiful morning to drive up and it all worked out perfectly.  We snapped a few pictures to remember the day.  The capital building is actually across the street from where we went but it was so beautiful that we had to share this picture.  All of our documents now hold the huge official gold seal of the state of Georgia!!  Yay! 

     Walking out of that building was surreal.  To them, they were just pieces of paper.  They have no idea what went into getting those pieces of paper!!  To us, they are priceless!! 

      What is next?  We are waiting for 3 documents that are being sealed by the state of Ohio.  When we receive those we will get these state pages translated and then we will send our package (dossier) to Haiti! 

     Progress! Yes! 

     If we haven’t said it before….thank you for joining us on this journey!  The support to us and the kids has been just wonderful!  We appreciate it! 

     Prayer Requests:  continue to pray for the process and for all of our children that God would prepare all of our hearts to be united.  

     Blessings to you all~

 Yay!!!  There are precious 'Gold Seals' inside that bag that match the top of that capital building!!  : )

Finally!!!

                 It’s amazing how things can change in just a few short weeks. There are still a lot of questions and unknowns but we took a huge step today!  We are SO excited!!   Ok, here’s what happened……

                On Wednesday, January 2^nd there was a posting on the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services website that said the following: Haiti’s adoption authority (IBESR) has informed the US Government that they are now accepting new adoption applications.  (Can you hear my screams?  Just checking!!)

                I didn’t see the post until Thursday but when I saw it the tears began flowing!!   Yes it is great news but there are still questions.  For instance, Haiti has announced that they will accept applications again, but, they must be submitted through an approved agency.  And yet they have not approved any agencies!   It is obviously a contradiction!  We must still wait for the approval of the agencies before we can submit anything.  Ugh…..but we are thankful to see movement in the right direction!

                We decided to take a risk.  We talked with our agency and we are going to go ahead and get everything translated and ready to go.  So today, we got all of the paperwork that needs translated together.  Since I can only scan one page at a time, Todd went to Yamaha and scanned all 76 pages.  We came home and emailed them! 

                Tomorrow morning they should be forwarded to the translated.  We now will wait until Haiti announces the approved agencies.  We pray that ours is approved but will take each day as it comes.  Today we celebrate a huge step forward in this process! 

                I hope to update this page soon with more detailed information on the steps we have completed as well as what to expect to see happen in the future.  Thank you for all of your support and questions.  We feel the prayers!  The peace we have felt for the past 3 weeks could only come from God!  He gave us that time to confirm our path.  

                Here’s a cheesy picture of the 4 of us tonight as we returned from scanning the documents.  The kids could feel our excitement.  Ashley prayed tonight for her new sibling and Travis thought they were coming home today.  : )  The mound of paperwork is what we have accumulated so far through this process and Ashley is holding the precious stack that was sent tonight! 

                Blessings to you all!  ~

Be still and wait.....

           The past few months have been busy and I apologize for not updating before now.  We enjoyed Thanksgiving and Christmas with our children and families and spent any free time (haha) trying to gather the last of our paperwork and fundraising.  With Christmas approaching I was selling jewelry constantly and it was such a blessing!  (A huge Thank you to everyone who purchased jewelry or sent others to me!  You  are helping and we appreciate it!!!)   As our paperwork was coming together, I was in close communication with our agency to make sure I was following the steps correctly.  We were planning on going to the state on the Friday before Christmas to get everything sealed and sent for translation.  The day before (Thursday the 20^th) we got a call from our agency.   Yes, they called to say that Haiti had closed for new adoptions.  They are no longer accepting new dossiers (new adoptions).  My first reaction felt like a huge loss and felt like something was just out of my grasp.  Yes, there were tears.  No, I couldn’t really talk about it.  I really didn’t even share with many close to me at first.  You see I needed those days with my Father.  I needed Him to hold and comfort me in a way that only He can!  We had prayed from the beginning that HE open and close the doors and that HE would show us what to do.  Well, He sure shut a door!  And with perfect timing too!  If we had gone and had the documents sealed then they would have not been able to be used again and we would have had to start the process over again so to speak.  He was protecting us all along just like He always does!!!  Our God is SO good!!  I am SO thankful that He is always looking out for us and protecting us even when it hurts.  He loves us that much! 

                So where does that leave us you ask?  That is a very good question.  Right now we are waiting.  We are waiting for God to show us the next step in our journey.  It is peaceful.  There’s something peaceful about resting in HIM.  I have been SO stressed about getting our paperwork and rushing to get it all done.  Well, it is all sitting here and ready to go.  We now are just waiting.  Haiti may re-open soon and we can reapply with them or we may need to move our paperwork to another country.  We do not know.  Thankfully our heavenly Father knows and He is preparing the way for us.  We are just trying to be faithful in the wait. We would love your prayers!  If you know me…I am not a very patient person!   J  Exactly one week after knowing that Haiti was closed we received pictures of all the children that were now available for adoption in Haiti. It is such a contradiction.  There are so many children in need.  But they are His children first and God has His hand in all of this.  He will direct our path whether it is to wait on Haiti to reopen or move to another country it is all on the journey to bringing our little one home. 

                Please join us in praying.  It is hard on our little ones too.  I began to tell Todd at dinner tonight that the Adoption Tax Credit had passed and when I began the first words Ashley jumped up and screamed “We Can…..” all excited.  She thought I was telling him that Haiti had opened and we were back to adopting from Haiti.  Their little hearts are affected as well.  We, as adults, don’t understand these things so explaining to children can often be difficult.  Please pray for all of our children, here and afar that we can be united quickly.  Blessings.  

What a day!

          Wow….what a day! As I sit on my couch unwinding after a long day I am overwhelmed by where this day has taken us.  It is Halloween.  Some could say a bad holiday but we choose to celebrate Fall and Harvest and the blessings we have been given.  Ashley and Travis jumped out of bed to begin the day’s festivities.  Ashley dressed for school in a pumpkin shirt with pumpkin earrings and Travis got to wear his costume all day.  Tonight we enjoyed a family night at Trunk N Treat at our church.  Ashley was a Japanese woman and Travis was Spider Man.  Everything from the rock walls, inflatables, great friends and the incredibly decorated trunks made it a great night!

            What astounds me more, is the outpouring of support we received today from my co-workers at Cornerstone Kids.  Don’t take that wrong….I work with a wonderful group of Godly women!  They are wonderful in every way and a ton of fun too.  But, today they went above and beyond.  Some had asked that I bring my jewelry to the staff meeting and wow….they blew me away!  The support they showed us was amazing!  Knowing again that we were able to feed orphans and to raise money to bring our little one home was a win win all the way around. 

           Last week, I started to have some major concerns about the financial part of our adoption.  There’s no other way to put it except that it is costly.  As we move forward, the costs increase.  I had to just pray and turn it all over to Jesus the other day. I just couldn’t carry the worry and fear anymore!  We know HE called us to do this and HE will bring it all together.  HE will not bring us this far and not take us the rest of the way.   How about that timing?  I turned it all over to Jesus and now I am selling my products like crazy!  I’m going to have to place another order!  It’s wonderful!!  Why am I amazed?  He takes care of us, He honors what we are doing and He provides….just like He says He will….and yet I am shocked.  What an awesome God we serve! 

          Happy Fall Ya’ll.  Blessings!

Ashley & Travis ready for fun!